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Before you decide to pursue a particular woman, there are some basic skills you need to master, and these will help you to be friends with anyone. Consider the following:

? Cultivate good manners. Love is not ill-mannered. Good manners show that you respect others and that you’re developing a mature, personality. However, good manners aren’t like a suit you wear to impress others but take off when you get home. Ask yourself, ‘Do I display good manners when dealing with my family members?’ If not, then it will seem forced when you do so while interacting with others outside your home. Remember, to find out the type of person you really are, a discerning woman will look at the way you treat members of your family.

? Maintain your personal hygiene. Good hygiene shows respect not only for others but also for yourself. If you respect yourself, others are more likely to respect you. On the other hand, if you let your hygiene slide, you’ll sabotage your efforts to impress a woman.

? Cultivate conversation skills. The basis of a lasting relationship is good communication. This involves discussing not only your interests but also the interests of your friend.

? Take the initiative. If you think a friend whom you admire might make a good marriage mate, let her know you are interested in her. Be clear and forthright in declaring your feelings. Yes, it can be nerve-racking. You fear rejection. But your being willing to take the initiative is a sign that you have grown up.

? Respect the woman’s decision. What if your friend says that she doesn’t want a more serious relationship with you? Dignify her by believing that she knows her own heart and that her no means no. It betrays a lack of maturity if you make a pest of yourself. Really, if you ignore a woman’s explicit rejection of your attention—even becoming provoked by her rebuff—are you really thinking of her interests or your own?

? Don’t flirt. A flirt uses flattering speech and provocative body language. He has no intention of pursuing an honorable romantic relationship. Such actions and attitudes of flirts make poor friends and worse marriage mates. Discerning women know that.

? Don’t toy with a woman’s feelings. Don’t expect that friendship with a member of the opposite sex will operate according to the same rules as friendship with a member of the same sex. Why? Consider: If you remarked that a male friend looked good in his new suit or you regularly talked to that friend and confided in him, it is unlikely that he would think that you are romantically attracted to him. But if you compliment a girl on her appearance or you regularly talk to her and confide in her, she may well think that you have a romantic interest in her.

? Be realistic, It’s unrealistic, even egotistical, to think that all women will like you. But some will if you remember this: How you look on the outside is less important than what you are on the inside.