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Running Race…!
Posted at: 2013-09-22 16:06:54
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Maria : Nice mobile ! Where did you buy it ?
Tony : I won it in a Running race !
Maria : Wow, How many participant in this race ?
Tony : The mobile owner, Few cops and Me !!!
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We are One…!
Posted at: 2013-09-22 15:43:18
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Husband : Honey I have a big problem at work !
Wife ; Darling don’t say “i” but “we” ! We are now One,
your problem is my problem.
Husband :Oh, Okay, Our secretary is pregnant ! She says we
are the parents !!!
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Fattening…!
Posted at: 2013-09-22 15:32:50
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Everything good in Life is Either Illegal, Immoral or Fattening ! Anything not fitting into these categories Causes Death or Someone Pregnant !!!
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My Bedroom Wall…!
Posted at: 2013-09-22 15:28:53
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Everybody kept saying that drinking milk makes me Stronger, And I truly believed that. One day I drank a Gallon of milk and tried to move my bedroom wall, No way ! Now when I drink a bottle of Whiskey, All the walls of my house move by Themselves !!!
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Your Prince Charming…!
Posted at: 2013-09-22 15:24:17
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Don’t Worry! Your Prince Charming will come. I’m sure, He just took a wrong turn, got lost, and too Stubborn to ask for Directions !!!
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House Mortgage…!
Posted at: 2013-09-22 15:11:25
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Little Johnny asks his father for a 0 bicycle for his birthday.
Johnny’s father says, “We have an ,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won’t be a 0 bike this year.”
Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father asks him why he’s leaving .
Johnny says, Early this morning, I was walking past your room, and I heard you telling Mommy that you were pulling out, and Mommy said that she was coming too, I’ll be damned if I’ll get stuck with a ,000 Mortgage !!!
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Marriage, Few Years Later…!
Posted at: 2012-06-16 23:04:05
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Marriage, Few Years Later…!
Married life is very frustrating.
The First Year of Marriage ;
The Man Speaks and the Woman Listens.
The Second Year ;
The Woman Speaks and the Man Listens.
Few Years Later ;
They Both Speaks and all the Neighborhood Listens !
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Roses and Potatoes
Posted at: 2012-06-16 20:05:37
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Roses and Potatoes
Roses only last like a couple of weeks and that’s if you leave them in water.They really only exist to be pretty. So that’s like saying ; My love for you is transitory and based Solely on your Appearance.
But Potatoes last forever! and they will not rot, That makes it a good symbol.May be ugly, but they’re still awesome and tasty. So that’s like saying ; It doesn’t matter at all what you look like, I’ll still Love You !
So next Occasion, let your Sweet Heart, Boyfriend, Husband, Wife and Friends, knows that you Care !
Buy Them Potatoes !!!
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Weddings and Funerals…!
Posted at: 2012-05-30 18:00:00
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MY old Aunts used to come up to me at Weddings,
poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, ” You are Next “
They Stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at Funerals.
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Small White Dot…!
Posted at: 2012-05-30 17:58:24
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A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they’d found, the first little boy walked up to the front of the class made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
“It’s a period,” said the little boy.
“Well, I can see that,” she said, ”but what is so exciting about a period?”
”Damned if I know,” said the little boy, ”but this morning my sister was missing one, Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted, and the man next door Shot Himself !
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