How far is the ideal you from the real you?
Standing outside of a café, your friends walk up and give you a hug. It’s your weekly chit-chat. You’ve picked a new place each time. She admires you and says, “I told you you look fantastic in green!” That’s the reason you wore green. A thought crosses your mind, “I was going to wear black. I like it more! Oh well!” Your other friend asks, “Where do you want to sit?” You look at both of them and say, “Wherever you want! It doesn’t matter to me!”
You sit down and as your friends start picking things off the menu a picture crosses your mind of you at age six in your brand new glasses and kids laughing at you at school. It’s not a terribly good feeling. It’s the opposite of what you feel right now.
When you’re socializing with friends, sometimes you’ll find that you’re not being yourself . You’re being what others want you to be. The real you keeps making everyone happy, but is it anywhere near the ideal you? Are you changing for everyone but yourself, in order to feel acceptance ?
Here are a few questions to ask yourself Hon your road to testing how farow far the ideal you is from the real you?:
1. Do you get caught up in an old self and an old way of thinking?
2. Is the new you battling the old you and you’re stuck in the battle, unsure of how to allow yourself to grow beyond who you were?
3. Do you doubt that you could acquire the qualities that you admire in others?
4. Do you feel a huge gap between how you’d like to be and how you see yourself?
5. Can you identify the problems that are causing the gap that you feel?
If you said yes to any of the above questions, then it’s probably wise to consider …
Here’s a way to be part of the solution not the problem.
Problem: I wear things other people want me to wear even when I want to wear something else.
Strategy: If the advice is good and comes from a good place, take the advice but don’t ignore the side of yourself that has an image of yourself that differs from your friends’ advice. See if that makes you feel better about yourself.
When you spend time working on narrowing the gap between the ideal you and the real you, you’ll notice that you’ll become a better friend to yourself. You’ll also stop trying to please everyone and you might actually find that the person that you wish you were can become reality.
