Returned 4 results for 'Category: Relationship Advice for Women'
Thursday, November 22nd, 2012
Title Hooking Up
Author- Kathleen A Bogle
With changing times, the laws of society with regards to what is acceptable have also changed considerably. Earlier just a peep of the stocking was shocking but today anything can go and won’t be as shocking. Values have changed and the change can be definitely scary. Finding mates was monitored by the family and society which forbade intercourse until marriage and there was a limit to physical interaction too. Today what we see are many teenagers that have already lost their virginity by 18.
Dating was a norm for the lower class but it was a way to rebel for the upper class. They went on a date away from the watchful eyes of the girl’s mother. The mother usually decided if the guy was good for her daughter or not and only if he had a good futures could he could get married. All this changed as romance took place and sex was the topmost of the minds of most youngsters. Men were seeking sexual gratification while women were looking to get expensive gifts and money with attention splurged on them.
Earlier, the mother controlled who her daughter met; it changed to the peers deciding the power and degree of sexual intimacy. Dating in college has no boundaries as a lot of women too started going to the same colleges as the guys. Hooking up became more fun and frolicking rather than a romantic and intimate relationship.
Sleeping with the partner overnight is a choice of the individual and is perfectly acceptable without any undue attention. Some may choose to sleep over, some may prefer to go back home. Each person can decide the level of intimacy that is permitted by them. There are no set norms and each is free to decide depending on their own beliefs.
Developing a serious relationship is least probable from a hook up. Hook ups are just casual spending time together with no intention of a serious relationship. Of course some may develop into a serious one but most of them don’t.
The trend to marrying later in life is probably responsible for this hookup culture. With so much freedom of thought and action available today, men and women indulge in sexual interaction for the fun of it and not with any emotions involved. They are clear when they want to marry and what type of a partner they want. Hooking up is just a way of life amongst the students today.
Few students are not part of the hookup group as they may probably be in a relationship already or their religious beliefs do not allow them to enter into such intimate physical relationships. There can be no generalization on the hookup scenario.
The 1970s can be called the era of sexual revolution where women learned to embrace their sexuality. This bought a change in cultural behavior. Men and women both indulged in double standards as the confusion regarding sexual relationships kept changing.
It tells us the difference between dating and hooking up and where this trend has lead to the students of today. This book provides a fantastic insight into the thinking process of the college student’s generation.
What We Can Learn
Dating trends changed with the times. Dating that was monitored by the elders in the family got influenced by peers. Hooking up can be defined as spending time with someone and indulging in physical interaction without emotional content. Physical interaction could mean just kissing or even sexual intercourse. Racial minorities and very religious minded students have successfully kept away from the free thinking hooking up era.
Hooking up is a vague term and is used by students to define various sexual activities. It is a path to a romantic relationship with no guarantee of commitment. It is not necessary to know the person prior to hookup. You may meet that person that very evening and just decide to spend time together.
Know the difference between hookup and dating. Follow your mind to know the subtle difference and its consequences. What are the double standards when you fall into a physical relationship, understand them so that you are not hurt and you are more emotionally balanced.
Dr Dato’s Comments
Dating was a culture until the 1920s. The girl’s mother decided who her daughter could meet and identified the qualities of the potential guy whether he was suitable for marriage. The guy had to visit the family when invited by her mother and follow a set of protocols. With time this changed when the man and the women decided to meet outside the house. This was a rebellious behavior which gave the young men and women the power to decide their paths in life.
With this new found freedom, the norms of dating changed. This casual relationship with the opposite sex was generally called hook up. Hook up can cover the extremes like just going for a movie together or having sexual intercourse.
Women are more emotional and they search for a commitment in a relationship. Men are just fine with casual sexual relationships. Women when hooking up must keep the consequences in mind and understand the guy’s thinking. The guy is looking out for a casual physical relationship with no strings attached. If only the one night stand is acceptable to your mind, women should go ahead with this hook up or they are heading towards depression.
The hook up scenario is based on physical attraction only. After a few drinks at the college party, the men and women find each other more attractive. This physical attraction leads to spending time together and results in a physical intimacy instant sexual gratification.
Condition your mind that this is just a one night relationship and do not expect any commitment from either partner.
4 out of 5 points as this book explains well the whole concept of hookup that is followed at college campus around the world . A must read for all students and even those in a relationship to be able to identify the thinking process of college goers.
Saturday, November 10th, 2012
Title – Mars and Venus on a Date
Author – John Gray, Ph.D
To find true and lasting love the author has effectively formulated a theme with Mars and Venus on a Date. For single men and women, the five stages of dating are attraction, uncertainty, commitment, intimacy and engagement. With a deeper understanding of each others behavior it is easy to interpret and act accordingly.
When one is not able to identify that the person is not right for them, both partners force themselves to alter situations and try to change the partner or themselves. This leads to frustration and negative feeling as no matter what you do the relationship simply falls apart. It is just not possible to fit a square peg in a round hole. Once you understand this, take the right steps and break the relationship on a note without regrets and resentment so you can look for the right person with an open heart.
When you are with the right person, you just know it. Forcing yourself to change for the sake of the relationship is the biggest mistake one can make. This simply lengthens the pain in a relationship which is ultimately going to end on a bitter note.
It is not at all necessary that you love someone for you to be in a relationship with that person. The more you get to know the person the more you realize that the person is worthy of your love and affection but might still not be the right person to share your life with.
Besides communication, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual chemistry have to match for a successful and fulfilling relationship which is elaborately explained here.
This book greatly assists the readers in identifying the right person who could be the soul mate for you. Going diligently thorough the five stages will help you be prepared and if required to end the relationship on a pleasant note. What We Can Learn, Every man and woman in a relationship wants a loving and fulfilling relationship. Once we understand how each one thinks and analyzes statements and situations, it becomes easy to comprehend and improve the relationship. Communication is the key to a successful relationship.
During the various stages of dating, continue to do the little things to make your partner feel special and experience the best in both. Make your dating experience positive and it becomes easier to find the special one.It is not at all necessary that when you love someone you must share your life with that person. You may love one but that person may still not be the right person for you. Confused people in love do not understand this and may become critical of a relationship.
If you don’t find the person to be right for you, do not end that relationship on a bitter note. Feeling resentful or guilty when you end a relationship makes it much tougher to move forward and find the right person who maybe just around the corner.
Trust your partner. When you try to make your relationship work the first rule to follow is to stop doubting and questioning your partner. This leads to a greater misunderstanding, irritability and sows the seeds of hatred. Communication, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual tuning are a must for a successful relationship. Physical attraction is short lived which can be sustained only when chemistry of the mind, heart and soul match with the partner. Know and understand your partner for a long term, successful and understanding relationship.
Remember loving someone does not mean marrying that person. Have a fulfilling relationship and make life simpler by understanding and identifying the subtle differences to make life happy and complete.
Dr Dato’s Comments
Men and women are a mystery to each other simply because the brains are programmed to think differently. On reading this book and trying to understand your partner, each one can analyze the situation and simplify the response rather than over-reacting and denting the relationship.
Understand the five stages of dating and you are sure to find your soul mate. After reading this book, it is easier for men and women to understand that if the person is not right for them then it is time to move on rather than having regret or to be hurt and upset. A beautiful secret has been revealed in this book that tells the readers: “good endings make good beginnings”. When a relationship ends either partner may have a feeling of regret or being used or feel angry as expectations were not met. The human nature forces us to close the heart and the mind is not ready to think freely due to the fear of being hurt again. End the relationship without resentment and move forward to find your true soul mate.
The techniques described here help the readers to realize and recognize if they are forcing themselves with the wrong person. Both try to change each other or self and end up being frustrated and going nowhere. This gives rise to negative feelings and makes the relationship worst. Following the identification tips can greatly help people who are entering into a relationship or are already in one and can see it go sour have the options of doing something about it.
Learn to identify and find your soul mate that may not be perfect but is perfect to bring out the best out of you. Follow the tips and find that the right person to make life loaded with happiness and worth living. Matching the spiritual, emotional, mental and physical desires leads to a happy and contented relationship. Don’t rush into a relationship no matter what your age. Open your heart, understand and then take the next step rather than a blind plunge.
3 out of 5 is the rating I give to this book. It generalizes the temperaments of people which really cannot be stereo-typed. Some different cases could have been given as examples with the psychological analysis. Although, what has been written deserves full marks for the majority of the readers to understand and implement into their own lives.
Saturday, November 3rd, 2012
The simple seven ‘secrets’ revealed right at the beginning of the book can be correctly called the success mantra for a happy marriage. The wife simply has to follow these and it will become impossible for her husband to fall out of love even if he strives very hard to do so!
Men are wired to believe it is un-macho to express their desire to be cared for but that is the male’s deepest desire to be treated like a baby especially after a long, tiring and stressful day. The wife who can understand this and expresses that extra care adds to the happiness in marriage. Being gifted with an inborn sense of caring and concern, her little actions like just heating up the food for him or simply holding his hand when he is watching that football match gives a sense of security to the husband who basically is wired to be the care giver and protector of the family.
With changing times most women today do go out to work probably 50 hours a week while the husband is working from his studio at home. He has to understand that he cannot expect his wife to be a ‘do all’. This usually is the bone of contention and it is necessary for the husband to lower his expectations and be happy with a left over meal rather than expecting a hot, lavish dinner spread for him. If men can understand and accept this then sharing a life with a spouse is a real breeze.
What We Can Learn
Men don’t believe in words but only actions. So every woman must understand that when he picks up the laundry from the cleaners on the way for you or fill gas in your car or even cook a meal for you, it is because he loves you and that is his way of expressing it. Running these silly errands for their wife is all out of love though he may never say ‘I love you’ with stars in his eyes!
Don’t ever let your man feel incompetent. Gently tell him how to make a slight variation in the way he does stuff where you as a wife should be very specific. If you want him to get wheat bread, specify that in the shopping list. Just don’t tell him get bread as he will pick up the first loaf he sees and the moment he gets home, you will start cribbing which will lead to an argument. This will force him to keep away from household work and helping you. This will increase the burden on you and you as a wife will feel being taken advantage of. This book helps you to understand this and make married life more peaceful.
Women keep this in mind, women have a mesmerizing effect on men so even when you are on a romantic holiday with him and his eyes follow the other women, do not get offended. It is just the way the brain is wired and he may not have any real intentions to offend you. Learn to accept your man and even if his eyes follow other woman, his brain and heart will follow only you.
Every wife has her needs too. Once you understand your man and how his brain ticks, your actions and words of course will automatically convey to him what you expect.
Dr Dato’s Comments
This book has correctly conveyed that the brains of men and women differ significantly. Women’s brains are wired to ‘feel’ while men brains are wired to ‘think’. Once this difference is understood, women can bring out the best in her man and make the marriage a happy one.
A fantastic piece of advice this book suggests for all wives to follow is ‘reward the behavior you like and ignore the ones you don’t’. Men love to be appreciated even for the insignificant stuff they do. If he compliments you, just give him a hug and kiss every time and he will start paying more attention to you. This is called ‘animal behavior’ which is an insight used by animal trainers. No offense meant of course but it is the wiring of the male brain and once this is understood, it becomes a simple matter to understand any relationships and make it work.
The way men think as been put into words very well in this book that even men reading this will wonder how well the brain has been analyzed. Every wife or to be wife must read this book to understand her man and bring much happiness and contentment to her marriage.
All women who want to have a successful, happy and contentful marriage must read this book with careful attention. Once you as a wife can understand your husband’s actions you can make the changes in your behavior and his behavior will change accordingly. Always remember men don’t believe in words but only in actions. Analyze his actions and you will instinctively know what hurts him or what makes him happy.
With a calm and relaxed mind answer the quick quiz questions. This will definitely help you to get a better understanding of your man and improve your relationship tremendously. Nurture his need and both of you can live a life full of contentment.
Every married person or the one who is going to get married must read this book to understand why men and women think differently. This will help each person to rationalize the partner’s action and help to be more understanding rather than obstinate. Every relationship is like a car on a journey which requires both the wheels to be in sync to move ahead.
Secrets of Happily Married Women is a must read for all as it is a concise collection of notes and even the busiest woman can take out time to read this interesting book to improve her married life. Once she can decipher her man’s brains, it is simple for her to find ways and solutions for imbibing happiness and contentment in her marriage which is the ultimate goal.
The book scores 4 out of 5 as it reveals the secrets of a happy marriage in a simple and succinct way that everyone can understand.
Friday, October 26th, 2012
Title – Why Men Love Bitches
Author – Sherry Argov
From the day one of her life women has been told and tuned to be nice to everyone especially men as it could bring them respect and love they need from men. However, the New York Times best selling author and famous talk show host Sherry Argov tends to disagree.
As name of the book suggests “Men Love Bitches” and nice girls are treated like a doormat while men are looking for dream-girls. The book is a series of Attraction Principles that tell women that begin nice would not bring them the dream men in their lives and they really should be practicing how to be a bitch. That breaks the myth every women have ingrained from birth, that if they are good to men they would respect them, love them and would never cheat on them. In this situation the definition of a bitch becomes extremely important which was very well explained by Sherry throughout her book.
A bitch is someone who is strong, can standup for herself, who knows her priorities in life, can carry herself with dignity, does not compromises on what she needs and doesn’t chase happiness in life instead makes it her current priority. Don’t confuse here that she only thinks of herself and does not respect others, of course she is looking to herself, but no more than what she would want herself. She thinks a lot before choosing her men rather than desperately looking for someone and then feeling guilty or falling victim to her own making.
This is a good book for all those ladies who are bored of being nice and did not get much in life being a nice person. Unlike our previous review of “He’s Just Not That into You” which was a pocket reference, this is actually a book with 250+ pages and 100 relationship attraction principles.
What we can learn
The message is loud and clear from Sherry Argov that it’s enough of being a nice girl and its times to be a bitch. Nice girl do not get what they want in life. She explained all this in the 100 relationship attraction principles that she believes are faced by girls every day and most of them fail to respond in the most desirable manner.
“Why Men Love Bitches” make those nice girls and ladies that being nice would never earn them the love and respect they want from their men. It makes those ladies seem like an easy catch and men usually love thrills and spills and women falling into the ‘bitch’ category do well. So rather be submissive, be assertive in what you do. It’s like when women chase men they run away from them but when women starts ignoring men they feel attracted or want to win her as if it becomes the matter of ego and point to prove that they are better than others.
This book talks about things that actually makes women uninteresting to men. Things like being emotional and financially dependent, inability to speak their mind, being easily cajoled into sex (even after a couple of dates), not able to show their feminine qualities and plenty of other that men would love to see in ladies. It’s not that men don’t want sex, in fact sex drives their emotions but, getting it early in a relationship would result in less interest in the lady as he got what he needed.
We can call this a good bitch making guide as this talk about every little detail that girl would need to show, cultivate and master to be the most loveable women for her men. But again we should remember the definition of the bitch set by Sherry Argov.
Dr Dato’s Comments
The best thing about “Why Men Love Bitch” is it’s easy to understand and relate to the real life world. It never talks about those things that are fantasy or does not exist in relationship between a man and a woman. The way Sherry Argov has hand picked these issue are highlighted in her book and women can easily relate to the 100 relationship attraction principles and feel a sense of deja vous.
What turns out to be the biggest turn-off in the book is repetitiveness about lots of topics like – being independent, maintain their dignity, don’t offer easy sex to men and few others discussed which at times kills the reader’s interest.
Good news for men is that this book targets their interest from a females voice as author of the book knowingly or unknowingly talk about and provide advice to girls to do actually things that men want.
Although the word ‘bitches’ has been implied in this book, it should not be taken in it’s literal form, since a complete ‘bitch’ is usually abhorred by many men unless they too have lost their complete sense of dignity and self-respect. Men are looking for a balanced woman who not only looks to her interest but her man too.
On a scale of 5 “Why Men Love Bitches” scores 3.5, actually it could have scored more as at times you feel that there is lack of material and a deliberate effort to stretch the 100 attraction principles which could have been wrapped up a lot sooner.