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Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 1

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

I was fortunate enough to witness two good friends of mine who were both exceptionally extroverted locked in a conversation. There are very good reasons why people sometimes use the term ‘opposites attract’ and here was a perfect example of this. Both of my friends were passionate about making their voices heard and their conversation ended up just being that with absolutely no dialogue at one point in time. It was very funny and somewhat entertaining to watch. Mind you, I wasn’t laughing at them, I was simply observing the outcome of the conversation which seemed to lead nowhere.

Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 1

It occurred to me that in much the same way that men vs men can get locked in a conversation, there must be subtle differences in the way we converse with say men vs women or women vs women. Men usually hear stories about how women find it so natural to talk to each other with ease and many would go onto to converse for hours without even thinking. With the men vs women conversation and in particular when they are in a relationship the art of communicating takes on a whole new meaning. I sense that in that type of relationship one could pursue a communication that is tailored to prolong or forge the relationship rather than upset it.

In a courtship relationship between men and women, both have an interest at the outset of how the relationship will unfold and this triggers in each how to best communicate. Naturally there are agendas and self-interested pursuits within each individual and this will directly have a bearing on the outcome of the relationship and therefore the communication aspects too. It maybe the reason why couples are initially very aloof when they first start dating and it’s only after time that they become comfortable with each other.

Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 2

Tags: art of relationship, communicate, courtship relationship, dating, Gender Differences - Understanding the dual nature of reactivity & proactivity - Part 1, good friends, men vs women, opposites attract, women vs women

Online Dating Briefs by Dr. Dato - Love the one who loves what you love

Saturday, February 5th, 2011

Article Subject: Love the one who loves what you love

Article Link: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/family-and-relationships/love-the-one-who-loves-what-you-love/article1893458/

Website: Cupidtino.com, Tastebuds.fm

Dr. Dato’s Brief:

Here is an interesting article which tries to grapple with the ongoing mystery of whether like attracts like and if two misfits are better suited to each in terms of personality.

Two new websites have sprung up to bring people together with similar tastes, the first Cupidtino.com which is a take on the Apple website but not affiliated with them tries to bring together fans of Apple products into the dating scene. As expected a majority of the member base are Apple employees. The idea originated when the founder said that his girlfriend was pestering him for paying more attention to his gadgets over her.

The second site Tastebuds.fm is for music lovers and the concept behind this site is to bring relationships together with common musical interests.

Although, I would agree that having similar tastes in music or electronic gadgets can reinforce the relationships, I do not feel that we should put such paramount importance to them. I believe the sites developed so far are just another angle in the marketing campaigns to entice new members to join. If you were to examine the conversations taking place between the members of the site, I would imagine that couples would pretty quickly exhaust all possibilities of the topics of conversation in gadgets and music!
Now lets see “What was your name again?