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Top 6 Resolutions for 2013 to Improve your Relationship

Monday, November 26th, 2012

Why and how we fall in love is a mysterious thing but why we remain in love can actually be identified. The New Year eve can end with a kiss to usher in 2013 but what is next. Wondering what will happen to the romantic relationship in the coming year? Here are top 6 dating resolutions for 2013.


1. Honesty and Integrity- honesty is of great importance in a relationship and relationships cannot be built on dishonesty. Honesty is the strongest foundation for building a long term and stable relationship. Each partner must strive to lead a life with integrity where there is no discrepancy between their words and actions. Share all with your partner as sharing half truths are tantamount to lies.

2. Respect- Accept and value the other person for who he/she is. If you respect them, then only you can feel and also truly love. Don’t try to change the other person and appreciate the other person for who they are and you will find that you will be falling in love with that person. Don’t try to control each other by being manipulative but be sensitive to each others desires and emotions.

3. Be Open- no person is perfect. Be open in receiving feedback and take it positively for a lasting relationship but make sure it’s not one sided. Being open and trusting go hand in hand. This develops strong relationships with the understanding of each others dreams and desires. Talk and discuss as it is not always possible for the person to read your mind and heart.

4. Affection- ideal partners are responsive to physical, emotional and verbal expression of affection. Extend the warmth of your affection and enjoy being close in a relationship with no inhibitions to make life more beautiful when you are together. Express your affection always.

5. Humor- a great sense of humor is the biggest savior of a relationship. Learn to laugh together rather than being offended when sensitive issues crop up. Nothing is more fulfilling than laughing with the person who is close to you.

6. Empathy- it is very important to understand and empathize with your partner. Identify what is common between you two and what are the differences which help you to develop a great understanding with the partner.

Online dating is one of the finer ways of building the foundation of a relationship. It is much easier to share and express your thoughts when the person on the other side is not seen. When meeting at a singles bar, each one is aware of the other person and body language conveys a lot. When dating online both are more open to express their emotions in words and may feel less inhibited especially at the beginning when face to face.

When a relationship breaks, it does make both the partners feel distressed and hurt. Don’t jump into a relationship immediately when you break-up. Give yourself some time and ‘grow up’ to think and analyze yourself. Identify what went wrong in the relationship as one partner is never responsible for the relationship to come to an end. Don’t repeat the same mistakes and follow these top six dating resolutions for 2013 and you may find the soul mate to share your life with.

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Can a break-up with your long dating partner be like a bereavement?

Thursday, April 19th, 2012

Many of us at times during our lives have witnessed the death of a loved one and we know how painful that can be. Can the same apply to someone who we have been dating for several years and suddenly decide to call it quits.

Can a break-up with your long dating partner be like bereavement?

Can a break-up with your long dating partner be like bereavement?

Many dating couples do eventually decide to break-up and some do it amicably while for others the break-up can be a messy affair. This becomes more complicated when couples are married or have children and decided they can no longer live together. The fact is that so much time and investment has been put into this relationship that a break-up will naturally have consequences. However, since we are comparing bereavement to a break-up, are the two similar in certain respects or are there specific differences?

Bereavement by definition implies the sorrow and loss of a loved one specifically after the death of someone. Being humans, we all have a natural ability to come out of this state of mind and correct ourselves but there is the distinct possibility that side effects can occur as a result of suppression and mental control (*1). The paper by Daniel M Wegner of Harvard University concludes that suppressing mental thoughts can lead to more accessibility of the thought to consciousness and some side-effects. In other words, there will be some differences in the case of bereavement and the loss of a break-up if we examine it from a psychological point of view.

One could also compare the case of bereavement of a long standing couple who have been married or dating for many years with the case of the couple having a break-up. How do the feelings and subsequent mental thoughts and anguish compare with each other for the two different cases above? One can argue that the loss through bereavement will be greater than a loss from a break-up. But this is easily said but in practise we know the lengthy and mental anguish of couples who go through separation and divorce.

The differences in the two cases is down to the mental coping. We know that when someone passes away there is nothing we can do and our fears and anxieties are of our own doing. It’s possible that we can cope with this better than a break-up from a love relationship. In the latter case we know that person is already alive and our torment could be greater because we can always try to convince ourselves of the fact that things could have been different and the relationship could have worked out. These thoughts can have a significant effect in one’s own self and can impact the individual’s thinking for years to come. A substitute through another dating relationship can alleviate the problem but if the intensity of the last relationship was very high, the lingering thoughts will remain in the person for many years.

It is highly possible that the subsequent feelings from a break-up of a love affair can be equal or more than the case of feelings emanating from a bereavement.

*1 Thought supression and mental control

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